The Life and Times of Bulky Feet

Tarka:

-- Prologue --

"We can't keep him, Martha.  They have to go."

"I know." Martha looked at her paws, then slipped them into her pouch
and stared at her young.  "There are three, hon.  Which one will we
adopt out?"

Stan grunted... he pointed to the one with the overlarge feet.  "That
one hun.  I don't think it will grow up to be a good possum anyways."

Martha looked up.  "You are probably right.  I will give it to the agency
in the morning."



By Seaweed

-- Today --

Bulky feet looked up from the dirt in the playground.  "Hey jerk!  Stop
shoving me!"  He got up again and went after the bully.

Terry:

"Yeah, what you gonna do about it, Footsie? Play dead?" The jackals laughed
at him, and ran off before he could reply.

Bulky lumbered after them for several seconds, but he couldn't hope to catch
them, and everyone knew it. After a few seconds he stopped and glanced
around, and although no one seemed to be paying any attention he was sure
they were all laughing at him too.

He sat there for the rest of recess, thinking of the things he'd do to them
if he could only catch them, and was last in from recess, as always, which
meant that by the time he got back to his desk all his pencils would be
missing.

But this time, someone was waiting for him in the hall as he made his way
back to the classroom. One of the bullies? No, it was just a girl... Nadia the
naga, who always sat in back trying not to be noticed. Bulky went to go
around, but she hissed, "Footsie..."

"Don't call me that!" he whined.

"Okay, okay... Bulky. I need to talk to you about something."

Seaweed:

Bulky harumphed and shrugged his shoulders, looking away from the naga,
afraid it would be either another speech about something he is doing wrong
or something that is wrong with him.  "What. What do you want?"

Nadia sighed and smiled slightly at the jaded possum. "I don't hate you. I dont
like it when others make fun of you, or take you pencils or tease you in
recess."

"It makes me feel... bad. But there is nothing I can do about it." She felt
like she wanted to put a hand on Bulky, but she had no way to comfort him
except for her words.

"I-I-" She stammered to get it out.. "I actually .. well.. don't think you are
bad at all.."

Bulky glared at the nada. "What are you saying?"

Tickle-Me-Astro:

Nadia looked down at her feet, or, well, where she'd have feet if she
had them... must be something in her head-end chromosomes, and tried to
get out what she'd been trying to for the last few days, courage failing
every time. "Bulky... you know the big party next week? ..the one where
everyone's gonna come in costume and stuff, and... well, uhm... I was
wondering, if you didn't already have someone to go with if you'd..
go with me?" Nadia looked up briefly and flashed Bulky this terribly
charming grin, and giggled embarresedly.

Bulky didn't exactly suffer cardiac arrest at that point, as the
experience of what he'd just heard asked of him was far too unreal to
affect him at quite such a visceral level, but it was sufficently shocking
as to shut down most of his higher-level cognitive functions. [Well, what
higher-level cognitive functions he had. He honestly hadn't earned his
reputation for being a wee bit dim entirely accidentally.] Bulky gulped,
and looked down at 'his' feet, which considering gravitational effects is
a natural place for his attention to be drawn, and his ears blushed. He'd
obviously just completely misunderstood what someone had said to him.
No one would 'ever' ask him to go to the Arbor Day Bash with them. Ever.
Not if he had the last sapling suit in the whole universe. He looked
up again, but past Nadia, and stuttered the only possible response. "Uhm..
uhm... uh... yeah?"

Nadia smiled, and hooked her tail 'round Bulky's neck in as-close-as-
possible-approximation of a joyful hug as her physicality could express,
and gave him a little peck on the cheek. ( Lil' kid type fake kiss, of
course. ) "Oh, thank you Bulky. You won't be sorry. I've got the neatest
weeping willow dress and everything. Thank you thank you thank you!" She
stayed there a moment longer, and suddenly jerked away. "Eeep! Look at the
time. I've got to go. Thank you Bulky!" And with that, slithered away,
leaving Bulky more utterly and completely confused then he'd ever managed
to be in his whole life. ( Which is saying a lot. )

Nadia slithered around a corner, and once out of sight her jubilant young
girl with a crush manner was replaced by a far more skulking one, and
the carefully constructed mask of feminine glee melted into a scheming
and wicked semi-sneer. Heeheehee. This was going to be fun.

Tarka:

A week went by as Bulky went around in a shadow like daze everyday.  He
was having his adoptive father help get him something to wear as they walked
around town.  "What about just a suit and tie Bulky?  Wouldn't that work
just fine?"

Bulky looked up at his dad.  "I don't think so.... My feet wouldn't fit
in the sleeves!

His father frowned.  Then grinned from ear to ear.  "As this is your first
date son.  We will dress you like royalty."

Three hours later Bulky was looking at himself in the mirror, the 17th
century french getup looking almost foolish on him.  "I love it Father!
It is wonderful!"

-------------------------

Bulky sat on the bench in front of the school and looked out at the parking
lot for Nadia.  He waited patiently as other people passed him on their
way into the night's dance.  He was getting cold but was still very excited.

Over away from Bulky, Nadia and three of her friends from the snake oil's,
were looking over the hood of a car at Bulky.  "Oh... we just have to
teach Footsie a lesson."

They planned and then Nadia got up.  "You both ready?" The other two girls
nodded.  "Then off we go!"

Bulky looked up and grinned.  Nadia was dressed wonderfully tonight as she
came up to him.  He leaped to his feet. "H h h.. Hello Nadia."

He held out his arm to her.  She coiled her tail over it.  "Lets go into
the dance."

Terry:

"AAARGH! Get off my" "Shh!" "But -- oh. But he --" "Shh."

Bulky ignored the random noises of conversation all around him, and he and
Nadia danced in the middle of the carpeted floor. The dance was held in the
music room, with cheesy flashing lights and even cheesier music, but it was the
most romantic thing he had even heard of. Most of the class didn't *have*
anyone to go with, and had to dance with partners randomly assigned by the
teachers. Jack and Billy Jackal even had to dance with each other.

He was also proud that he was the best dressed. Most of the class was just
wearing normal clothes, or maybe a mask, but he looked like royalty. Nadia's
costume was nice, too, although the dangling strands of beads kept whipping
into his face whenever she moved.

After the dance, while everyone was putting on their coats to head home,
Nadia whispered to Bulky, "Come on, Bulky, there's something I want to show
you..."

Bulky whispered back, "But my dad's waiting to pick me up --" But she just
shook her head and slithered off down the darkened hallway. After a few
seconds, Bulky followed.

Tickle-Me-Astro:

Bulky padded on his heavy paws into the shadows, his feet becoming the
loudest sound to be heard as the rustle and chatter of the cloakroom faded,
and his eyes strained to pick out Nadia in the gloom. 'Where had she gone,
and what was she going to show him?' His crudely-hewn heart raced in his
misshapen chest as he caught sight of Nadia's tail disappearing into a
darkened classroom. He ran his finger around the tight collar of his
fancy outfit, and rubbed his ample and very sweaty palms on his pant
legs before being able to summon the courage to enter the darkened
room after her.

"Uhm... Nadia? I'm uh... what did you want to show me?" he called out
in a broken croak, his voice having been used so little except in anger
or reprochment over his existence that he nearly lacked the ability to
modulate it with any precision according to the situation. "Where are
you?

Tarka:

------------------- WHOOFFED! -------------------------

Bulky was hit in the face and on his front with a misture of feathers and
hot tar.  It smeared over his vest and face and clothes, leaving him a
complete sticky mess.  The lights in the room now blazed brightly and Nadia
held the blunderbust in her mouth.  She was laughing histerically as were 
two of her friends next to her.

Bulky wasn't really sure what came over him right then.  Maybe it was the
years of bullies... or the months of finding his shoes missing after PE... or
even the fact that his bookbag was always being thrown in the toilet.
Something snapped right then though, as he charged them with murder in his
eyes.

He saw red as he charged. It was this that saved the three would-be bullies
as well, for Bulky didn't see the large red chest on the floor and charged
right over it... he slammed into the ground and knocked himself out as
his body slipped on the floor, coming to rest at the girls feet.  They had
looks of terror on their faces.  Not knowing he was unconscious, they
ran out of the room as fast as they could slither or walk.

--------------------

Hours later, Bulky woke up and blinked at the room around him.  The lights
were still on as he got up.  Then he sighed and looked at his clothes.

"Whatever am I going to tell dad?"

An hour later he was home.  He sat in the living room looking at his
father's frown.  "I want revenge father."

His dad nodded.

Terry:

Bulky's father led him down into the basement. "This Nadia... what is she?"
he asked.

"A naga, father. And her friends are too."

"Ah, good," his father said, reaching into his pocket to take out a large,
heavy iron key. "That makes it much easier." He slipped the key into an iron
keyhole set in the basement wall, and the wall slid aside.

"Nagas, you see, are magical creatures. They haven't used their powers in
hundreds of years, they probably don't even remember how to. But they have
certain vulnerabilities, and we dragons have never forgotten them. In
particular, they really hate... this."

His father held out a small vial full of black liquid. "I'll put this in with
your lunch. If you splash it on Nadia I guarantee she'll regret what she did
to you. But whatever you do, don't drink it."

Bulky just stared at the dusty room full of shiny things and strange
glassware, and nodded dumbly. His father closed up the lab and led him back
upstairs.

Tickle-Me-Astro:

-- The Next Day...

Nadia and her compatriates sat coiled upon what loosely translated into
chairs in the cafeteria the next day, casting the occasional nervous
glance at Bulky, sitting alone staring dumbly out one of the steel-gridded
windows at the dingy view outside, his lunchbox sitting open but the
contents untouched in front of him.

"Gah. You know, Nadia... we musta, like, really screwed him up if he's not
eating. You know what an ogre he usually is with his food. Gotta stay back
or, you know, he'll like, suck you in."

Nadia shot her fellow a look, and sneered. "Would you just shut up about
that? I don't want to think about it anymore. I'm scared enough as it is."
Nadia shuddered a little bit, and poked listlessly at the gelatanous
blob that passed for food on her plate. "He looked like he was gonna kill
us last night. If he'd gotten one of those awful paws on one of us... 
*shudder*" She fell quiet, and glanced again over at the seemingly inanimate 
lump. "What'll we do now? Tell someone that he wanted to hurt us?"

The other of Nadia's lil friends shook her head. "They'd probably want to
know why, and that'd probably mean them finding out about..." She too
trailed off, and they all sat waiting for the first excuse to dump their
'food' and escape back to class.

Meanwhile...

Tarka:

Bulky sat on his chair in the lunch room thinking. He could see how
Nadia and her friends kept looking over at him and frowned... how was he
to get close to them if they were keeping an eye out.  He let his eyes
drift down to look at the vial of black stuff.  How would he get it on
them?

Lunch was over soon enough, and as the day wore on Bulky started to get the
idea for a plan.  He played hooky for the last class and worked his way to
the hind end of the school and waited.  It was not long till the last class
was over. It only 45 minutes long.  When the bell rang and the kids
started to flow out of the school, he saw her and grinned.  They were coming
right to him.  He waited... and waited... then sprang out of hiding.
"Got you, Nadia!" He splashed the black stuff on her and ran from them
as fast as his big feet could carry him.  He hid behind a building
breathing out in gasps... he looked around the corner trying to see Nadia.

He didn't see her.  There were her two friends... and a possum between them.
They were all screaming at the top of their lungs.  Bulky slithered a bit
more around the edge of the building to try and see what was happening.

It took a moment... but then he looked down... he was a naga!

Terry:

As Bulky slithered out around the corner, the people stopped screaming, and
looked at him strangely. "Oh, Nadia," (the friend on the right -- it was Lily,
right?) -- said, "We thought... um..." She glanced at the possum, which stood
there dumbly, obviously in shock.

"What's going on? Is this some sort of trick?" the other friend asked. Bulky
nodded, his head moving up and down much farther than he was used to. "Well,
come on, before he recovers and eats us or something."

Bulky followed Nadia's friends to their secret hideout, in his new exchanged
shape. As he rounded the corner after them, he noticed his father
...scooping up the still-stunned Nadia, who did look quite a bit like Bulky 
once did, if a little uglier and clumsier.

"So what are we going to do about Bulky, Nadia? I mean, that was a neat trick
you pulled with that... um... with that stuff you threw on him when he
attacked us, whatever that was. It smelled really nasty."

"Yeah, Nadia," the other friend asked, coiling up next to a small heater,
"You're the smart one. What's the plan?"

"I think..." Bulky said, and realized that his voice really did sound a lot
like Nadia, "I think we should just leave him alone. After that -- after that
stuff I threw on her -- I mean, on him, um... I think he'll leave us alone."

Her friends looked dubious, but quickly shrugged and went on to speak of
other stuff that he didn't understand at all. He stared at them blankly for
a while, then said he didn't feel well and headed home.

It was a long slither home. Nagas didn't really move much faster than he
could, and he kept wanting to scratch his nose, or brush the annoyingly long
hair out of his eyes. When he finally got home, his father was waiting for
him. Nadia was there too, looking just like him.

"So," his father asked, "Did you get revenge?"

Bulky shook his head.

"Can you turn me back now?" Nadia asked, "I promise not to bother your son
ever again! I just don't want to *look* like him. Eww."

"If you give each other a nice big hug, it'll wear off." Bulky and Nadia
looked at each other, then at Bulky's father.

"Okay, okay," he sighed, and waved a paw over the two of them, and they
shimmered back to their normal forms.

The real Nadia slithered off without looking back. And from then on, she
didn't bother him much in school, although the jackals still picked on him,
and the raccoons, and the others. But sometimes he'd notice her looking at 
him as she sat in the back of the class, writing her assignments with a 
pencil held in her teeth, staring jealously at his hands and feet, and that 
made him feel a lot better.