Mirror Mirror.

Shoe:
 
The rat stood there. He had greyish white fur and medium length dark brown 
hair.His problem was that he was stupid. Plain and simple. However he was 
good enoughto sort stuff, carry stuff and work with numbers. His curret job 
was workingfor the monkey lady, Laura around her house.
 
Tarka:
 
"Ma'am, I'm not really sure that not paying your taxes is really that good of 
an idea. Don't you think that the government would want to know where their 
money is?"
 
"Oh piffle... they area always looking for money that isn't really theirs." 
She waved one perfumed paw and went back to work drippign her nails... "Taxes 
are for little people like you. If they come looking for money take it out of 
your salury and give it to them."
 
"My Salury Ma'am?"
 
"Well yes... if they come looking its your fault. So you have to pay for it. 
Now... go and get to work. I want my taxes done by tonight."
 
He grumbed and headed back to his desk... something bothered him about 
this... but he couldn't quite get his paw onto it.
 
Terry:
 
After a bit, he decided to look on the bright side. This meant that if he 
managed to get her a refund, it was his to keep. And, considering that he 
hated her and would love to see her in prison, he saw nothing wrong with 
lying outright about the amount of taxes that had already been withheld, and 
the various imaginary charitable donations of less than $250 each. About a 
million of them would do.
 
He wasn't very subtle, having it deposited directly into his own account, but 
Laura didn't even glance over the forms when he presented them for her 
signature, instead complaining about how long it had taken him. He scowled -- 
typing up fake receipts was hard work!
 
Vassily:
 
The signatures in crayon gave them a playful touch anyway. Joey thought they 
brightened up the columns of numbers. He also thought it would be better if 
Ben had been here to help him. Ben was smart, not like him. And tough. Ben 
would have stood up to the monkey lady. Not mumble as he swept her floor. 
 
Ben was the smart one. "Smarter than me." Thought Joey. "He didn't stay in 
this no horse town." The horse had left too, seeking greener pastures. Mossy 
Corners wasn't a place people even came to die. "Not even mossy." He 
muttered. It wasn't either, being on the edge of the desert. Joey carefull 
checked the postage on the envelope a second time and dropped the tax return 
forms into the post box.
 
Shoe:
 
At that moment Joey heard Laura calling for him. "Joey, come here! There is 
something that I need!"He made his way up the stairs wishing he didn't have 
to work for the annoying lady in herbeutiful house. Joey pushed the door 
open. Laura sat there in an elegant wooden chair."What is it, Ma'am?" She 
raised her nail-polished hand.
He hoped she wouldn't hit him in the face again.
 
Tarka:
 
"now Joey... your a good rat... a very good rat. Take this here box and some 
money."
 
He took the box and money and was wonder what was going on. "yes Ma'am.
 
"Good boy... now take this ticket and fly off. you have a job to do... tis 
all explained away in a note in the box. Don't fail me! OR ELSE!"
 
He winced at the voice and scampered out of the room. The other reason he 
stayed with her is that his dozens of brothers and sisters also depended on 
her for their jobs. If she got mad, they would all be jobless... so you 
always did what she told you.
 
"Yes Ma'am.
 
He headed out of the house and opened the box... inside of it was a picture 
and a name... and a small gun. "Shit...
 
Terry:
 
The picture was drawn in crayon, but it appeared to be a picture of some odd 
stripey-tailed creature. The tickets were for an interplanetary cruise liner, 
which would have been a nice trip at least, if rats weren't banned from them 
ever since the Colossus incident. And how would he get the gun onto the 
shuttle?
 
He had to ask for help on this one. It was time to go see Ben. He had almost 
an hour before the shuttle left, which might be enough time if he ran. So, 
dropping the box and stuffing the picture, tickets, and gun in his pockets, 
he headed for the police station.
 
Vassily:
 
"Benny! You've gotta help me."
 
"Why do I have to help you, Joey? I don't work for the bonobo."
"You've my cousin Benny. We're family."
"The monkey lady is bad news, Joey. What is she making you do?"
"Nothin' I just have to deliver something for her."
"What? You know what I'm going to do if she's making you mule for her."
"Not illegal, Benny, just far. Got liner tickets. First Class, round trip."
 
"You don't lie so good Joey. I'm the law and the monkey lady doesn't give 
away first class liner tickets for a pretty smile and a nod."
 
Joey scuffed his foot in the dust in front of Benny's desk.
 
Tarka:
 
Ben looked over the contents of the box and then rubed his forhead... his 
stupid brother didn't know about what was going on... but he did. The picture 
was of one of the well known but very elusive raccoons. An inteligent race 
that lived on the far edges of civilization.
 
"Joey bro... your in real trouble. That gun you have there is a dart gun... 
and she wants a raccoon as a pet as far as I can tell. Needless to say what 
she is asking for is inmoral to the extream.
 
He thought about it for a while and then smiled. "I have a plan though... a 
way to get that bitch and keep everyone out of trouble. Just do as I tell 
you... and get on that ship. I will talk to some people... so that you can 
get on. Now go! Go!"
 
Terry:
 
Joey took the cell phone Ben put into his hand, and ran towards the shuttlepor-
t. Halfway there, he was approached by a large mob of burly wolverines. They 
quickly surrounded him, and one stepped on his tail when he tried to keep on 
running past.
 
"Okay, rat," they said, "Benny says get in the bag." Sure enough, they had a 
large burlap sack on them. Joey blinked, and let them put him in the sack. If 
Benny said it was okay, then it must be okay.
 
The sack with Joey in it was dumped in the trunk of a car and driven around 
for a bit, then he was taken out and, still in the sack, packed into a wooden 
trunk, which he heard close and lock. Joey sighed with relief. If Benny was 
having him locked up in a box, then obviously he wouldn't have to think about 
what to do for a while, and could relax.
 
Vassily:
 
Joey was a little dissapointed. He'd heard you got those little bottles on 
the shuttle and some peanuts. Joey liked peanuts. First Class wasn't quite 
what he imagined it would be. At least there were some crumbs of cheescake in 
the box. Joey licked them up and tried to deal with boredom and the overwhelmi-
ng smelll of wolverine.
 
The box and Joey jolted around a few times as he was transported into the 
bellly of the liner. He floated around just a little bit in the light gravity 
of the hold. It was darker through the airholes and didn't smell as much like 
Wolverine anymore. Joey went back to playing Tetris and was doing pretty good 
when his batteries ran out. "Crap." Joey waited in the dark chill of the 
perishables hold. Waited for the guttural voices and powerful smell of the 
Wolverines to come back.
 
Tarka:
 
The world was green... very very green... and that is all that Joey could 
really see. There was only one small town on this world... and beyond it... 
wilderness. Nothing but endless wilderness.
 
Ben had sent word ahead and at the airport was a dirty looking roo chewing on 
some kind of green cud. "Goodday Mate. Didn't know they let rats onto the 
interstellers. Anyway... been hired for your hunting trip I 'ave. When you 
want to go hunting the snipe?
 
Terry:
 
"Oh, I'm not hunting snipes," Joey replied. "I'm hunting raccoons!"
 
The roo gave him an odd look. "Then you're on the wrong planet, mate. All we 
have here are snipes. Tricky beasts, they are -- shapeshifters and mind 
readers. They'll get in your head and make you see what you want, or expect, 
then WHAM! They pounce!" At the wham, he leapt towards Joey, stopping short 
at the last second while Joey eeped and scrambled.
 
"Yeah, there's only two ways to hunt snipes. One is to be a super-cool 
fearless hunter like myself, steeled against their illusions. Takes years of 
practice. The other is to wear this blindfold and sit in the bushes with a 
sack open, while a super-cool experienced hunter chases the snipes towards 
you. They aren't so good with the tricky stuff if you can't see 'em, so all 
you got to do is listen to where they're running and get 'em in the sack." 
The roo grinned. "Which plan do you want to try?"
 
Joey thought long and hard about that, and finally decided to call Ben for 
advice. "Plan B, Joey," Ben said, exasperated, his voice scratchy from 
several dozen light years of ansible transmission. "Use plan B."
 
Vassily:
 
Joey sat in the dark, blindfolded, holding the bag open across the trail. He 
listened carefully to all the noise the roo was making, bustling about in the 
brush. Either he was a very talented mimic, or there was a moose out there 
somewhere. "I'm going to need a bigger sack."  The trumpeting got louder and 
the ground rumbled with the approach. Joey could smell the onrushing moose 
and braced for the impact. He lept up and slammed the bag down over the 
moose's head but met no resistance. Something was in the bag though. And it 
wasn't happy
 
Tarka:
 
Joey sat in the dark crate again... the sack grubled at him but the roo had 
said that he had a snipe... he remember what the roo had said. "Now... give 
it to your lucky lady and she will see just want she wants to see. but I warn 
you... tehy are very tricky beasts... so you should keep it n a very short 
leash... adn enver really 'look' at it. or you will regret it for the rest of 
your life.
 
He remembered the warnning all during the dark in the hold... and all the way 
up the front steps the the ladies home... he dragged the sack into her study 
and set it down. "I have done what you wished of me mistress.
 
Terry:
 
Joey turned his back, afraid to look... but he heard his mistress open the 
sack. "Ah! You actually did what I wanted for once! don't believe it! Come to 
my arms, my love!" Joey started to turn, but was cut off with a quick, "Not 
you, fool! The raccoon!"
 
"Um... can I leave now?" he asked.
 
"Yes, but get my webcam from the bedroom. I'll make a fortune off this..." 
Joey almost whimpered as he heard a growling and snarling from the very, very 
hungry snipe, that he hadn't thought to feed at all on the trip, but 
apparently his mistress was oblivious, as she carried on a conversation whose 
other half only existed in her mind, making cooing noises and giggling.
 
As soon as he was out of sight he took off running, so terrified that he 
didn't even notice the police surrounding the house until he was suddenly 
blinded by the spotlights that pinned him to the front porch. "Stop right 
there, rat! This is the FBI!"
 
Vassily:
 
"She was like that when I found her, and those aren't my shoes anyway." Joey 
screamed over the bullhorn.