Olivia Otter peeked into Calway Badger's office and looked around. Calway was sitting back in his chair, sleeping away the afternoon. He had not been the same since the last client had tried to kill him. She slipped into the room and carefully closed the door, leaving the voice of his secretary, Lorry Mouse, in the room behind her. Olivia made her quiet way over to Calway to wake him gently..... Touching his shoulder, she spoke. "Calway, Calway..."
Calway blinked the sleep from his eyes and looked up into Olivia's face, without quite seeing clearly for a moment. "What? What is it Olivia?"
She smirked. "Time to wake up, boss. You've got a client coming in here in just a minute."
Calway sat up in his chair and tried to fix his tie quickly. "Ok ok ok... I will be ready in just a moment."
Olivia reached out to him and took care of the tie... then linked her paw rubbed it over his head to smooth down the fur. "There, Calway. You look alright now. You do need a little info on the client: they are some kind of farmer/rancher. From what we can tell, they want you to look for their lost sheep. I will have them sent in." She straightened up and went back to the outer office.
Red Jeppered walked into the door and there was a hint of real determination behind his eyes. Calway stood up behind his desk and held his paw out to the Irish Setter. "Hello, Sir. What is it that I may do for you?"
Red looked at Calway and took the paw, almost crushing it with his iron grip. "My name is Red Jeppered and I am here to hire you, Mr. Badger." He let go of Calway's paw, who sat down again and vowed to himself never to shake Red's paw again.
There was a twist in Calway's ear as he looked back at Red. "Well, do you think that you can tell me how I can help you then?"
"Yes! I will do that. It is very simple. Some of my cows are going missing and I can't get the frigging cops to do anything about it. Not since I took that tape of it happening." Red slashed the air with his paw.
"You have a tape of the people doing it then?" Calway perked his ears, thinking, 'This might be an easy case to take care of...'
The setter was shaking his head. "No such luck. Here is what I have, Mr. Badger." With that he whipped out an old format VHS magnetic tape and held it over the desk.
The warm plastic of the tape brought back memories to Calway of his childhood, and the many movies that he had seen, as he turned around in his chair to put it into some display equipment. Being in his line of work, he had what was needed to play the old thing.
The tape had been taken on a mostly moonless night. Nothing happened at first. Then a line of light seemed to hover over the field and dodge back and forth. He could hear the cows out in the dark field mooing with alarm, and then Red's Voice. "Frig it all. Can you get my gun, Ema! It is happening again." The taped ended a minute after that.
Calway blinked his eyes and looked at Red. "A UFO?"
A fist came down on the desk. "There ain't no such thing, Calway! Cops think that I am nuts or something. Frigging hell... I think it is just some punk kids taking my cows. I wanted you to find them, as the cops ain't going to do it. I heard that you might be able to do so."
With a nod, the tape was back in Calway's paw, and he was putting it on his desk. "I will take the case, Mr. Jeppered. I will be up to your farm the next day. Talk with Lorry on your way out about price and retainers and such."
"I will see you soon then, Mr. Badger."
Many minutes later, Calway came out of his office with a grin on his face and looked at Lorry and Olivia. "Looks like a bread and butter case girls!" Olivia laughed and clapped her paws.
Lorry grinned and swung Olivia around a bit. "Sounds like we have a paying customer!" Calway chuckled "Yep, I think that we should be fine with Red for a while. He is frustrated with the cops and is looking to us to find his cows. But with this type of case it may be a long while before we can find them."
Both females stopped in their tracks and looked at Calway. Olivia blinked and tilted her head to one side, "Why do you say that, boss?"
The badger smiled a little "Well, seems that these here rustlers are a bit extraterrestrial. Red claims, and has a video tape to back him up, that a UFO came down and took his cows," Calway chuckled, "and on more than one occasion, too. Of course, the police don't believe him. He said that they think he is crazy as a loon. So he has come to us."
Olivia frowned and put her hands on her hips, while Lorry just stood there and looked confused. "You've got to be kidding, right boss? I've never heard of such a thing before. What would aliens want with ol' dog Jeppered's cows?"
A laugh escaped Calway as he walked to his office door again. "Oh... I don't think that it is aliens, like Red said, and it is more likely just some kids playing with peoples minds. Still, the cows are disappearing. I will go out there on the morrow.
Olivia nodded. "I will put together the travel kit before I go home tonight with what you might need then, Calway."
"Ok!"
--------
The day was hot, and Calway's little Spider happened to have an air conditioner that thought it best to quit just today. He had the windows rolled down and gritted his teeth as sweat rolled down his back, soaking both his shirt and fur. "Damn it all. Why did it have to go out today!"
An hour later, Calway, hot as toast, went driving down Gladis Lane looking for Red's number. It was not hard to find. 13666 said the post by the road. He went down it and parked his Spider before getting out and looking around. It was a largish farm with many fields and hundreds of cows. He walked to the door and hit the bell. The door opened and this kid answered. "Hello."
The kid was dressed in the latest teen rebll outfit: super tight shorts with a baggy shirt over it all. He had shaved his head to leave on a mohawk right down the middle. Somehow he had also managed to dye it green.
"I am here to speak with Red Jeppered."
Calway raised his eyeridges and grinned at the kid. "Nice hair... say I'm looking for Red Jeppered. Is he around here?"
"Yeah... my dad's out back. What d'ya want to talk to him about, Mister?"
"Well son, I had an appointment with him today."
The kid nodded and started to turn, "Ya can follow me then I guess." Calway opened the screendoor and followed the kid through the house, noticing that Red had a pretty nice place, and figuring that at least he would be good for the pay.
The kid pushed open the back door and cupped his paws around his mouth, "Hey, dad... dad ya got company!!!!" Calway could see Red out by the barn, and he watched him take off his hat and scratch his head a moment, then start up to the house. Calway thanked the kid and went out to join his new employer.
Red met him out close by the barn, and began walking the other way, his step as lively and changed, matching thir cautious ramble over cow paddies and other things.
Red frowned, stomping over to where the cows were--his forceful personality sending a few of them rumbling to the side. "I'm afraid I'll have to be gone this afternoon," he explained through this chaotic mess, "A cow of mine went into labor, and Howard, my hand-"
"The kid with the mohawk?"
Red nodded in disgust, "Him--he's going out with his mother this afternoon. Very protective of me, but I would really rather have him around. He's very experienced in this sort of thing," Red gestured all around to the pasture, the small red house..., "although it disappointed him when I took up my father's business. The area you want to see is right over here..."
Red led the way several yards from the barn, where he claimed he had been standing when the video was taken. "Ema, now--when she heard the clanging noises, she runs out of the house, to about that vantage point, right there..." Red stomped over to the white painted fence, taking a few pieces of yarn off of it. "So you see, Mr Badger, that we haven't touched anything." He flashed his teeth, in what amounted to an embarrassed smile, "So much of this is the cops stomping around, and the weather and--well, you get the idea, and that's what I hired you fer--thi-"
Calway took the pieces of yarn into his paw, looking them over. They were a heavyweight yellow, with green areas...could be punk, or...
The yarn took up its place in Calway's pocket as he nodded to Red. "I would like to take a walk around the area where the cows are disappearing... see if I can find where they are getting in and all.
Red nodded. "Before you go though, will you come with me for a minute or two? Need a little help over here."
"Sure thing Red. What you need?"
They were in the barn next and standing in front of a stall with a cow in it. There was a lot of mooing. "I need to hold her harness so that she does not hurt herself. She is having a big problem giving birth. You just reach in there and help pull the calf out, will ya?"
Calway's mouth dropped as he looked at the cow, while Red made his way around her. "I... I... I.... I... errr... never done that before."
A chuckle came from Red as he took hold of the cow's harness. "Don't worry, Mr. Badger. Your arm will fit."
Calway thought to himself as he pulled up his shirt 'is this is what the fly felt like when it was taken into the spiders web?' He didn't hesitate though, and walked up to the rump end of the cow. He put his hand where it should go and pushed in, turning his head so he didn't have to watch.
An hour later a young calf was standing next to its mother. Calway and Red were next to each other looking at it together. Calway looked at Red. "Do you mind if I ask?"
"No." Red frowned as he looked at his cow.
"Do they all have a horn in the middle of their head and two tails when they are born Red?"
"Nope."
"Thats nice." Calway looked at his arm. "Where is the was? I think that I would like to get the birth fluid off my arm now."
Red chuckled and pointed to a room down towards the back of the barn. "You can wash up right over there Calway... there should be lots of soap and towels. You know, you're a good sport for helping me out. A lot of fellas would have turned tail and run."
"Well, I've never been one to run from a job, Red. No matter how sticky it gets. Let me wash up and I be back with you in a moment." Calway smiled and headed back for the washroom.
When the badger got there he closed the door and leaned against it heavily. "Omigosh... I can't believe I did that!" After waiting a few moments for the nausea that roiled in his stomach to pass, he began to wash his arms with the strong soap that he found on the sink. He washed and rinsed several times, then finally satisfied that he was clean, grabbed a towel . He dried his arms and hands then hung the towel on a hook. By this time he had himself under control again and went back to join Red.
Calway watched the Irish setter inspect the calf, "What are you going to do with a unicorn cow, Red?"
Red turned and grinned "Well I don't rightly know... I suppose a carnival or a circus would be more than happy to have this little heifer. I don't see much else wrong her though. I suppose we could have the vet remove the horn and one of the tails."
Red chewed on his thumbnail and ruminated a bit, "Not sure what the boy is going to think when he sees her... might get all upset. I think it's those damn aliens. I need your help more than ever now to find my cows. Who knows what's being done to them?"
Calway shook his head, "I'd like to get a vet out here as soon as possible, Red. We should try to find out."
Red looked over at the herd, and scuffed through the grass. "Well sir, the nearest one's a township over, and I'd really hate to bother him. I really don't think much is wrong---aliens are known to cover their tracks," Red concluded with conviction.
"Yes, but I'd like one anyway--and see if-" Calway turned around, not knowing much except to stare out over the herd. One of the herd stared back, reminding him of Red's kid, Howard. Several of the gentle bovines moved about in the grass, almost covering the far hills and grasses, as a van approached. Calway paused, "---See if you can get me anything in the history archives of this area, anything similar to what we're seeing now." 'Heck, it had worked before--why not now?'
Red stared at him, shaggy moustashe drooping in frank disbelief, "Similar? How can--"
"I've an idea--say, is that your wife and kid?"
Red shook his head, which meant yes for him--and moved off. Calway noticed he'd forgotten to wash, and grinned. Wonder what the townsfolk would make of it?
The badger sniffed at the string, and went about seeing what he could do to catch a ride as well. The bovines continued to stare at him as he made his way through the herd.
Calway picked his way across the pasture, executing with unique precision the ballet performed by those who don't like souvenirs from such places plastered to the bottom of one's shoes, with Red tromping considerably less concerned with such things along behind, lost in pondering over how to best deal with the gift nature, or something 'not' of nature he'd been dealt.
Calway was just stepping over what must have been something left from a sick cow when he saw the patch of grass to the side, all burned in a perfect circle. "Hey Red? What is that?"
They both looked over the burned grass. "Don't know, Calway. Could be most anything. Spilled oil from the tractor or something like that could have burned it.
Calway nodded.
Two hours later, Calway was on his way back from the township. He had looked up everything that he could about the area, strange cows and all. There had been nothing in the archives though, nothing at all.
Deep in thought, Calway got back to the Jeppered farm and talked with the wife some, asking about other farmers in the area. "Have other farmers been losing cows as well, Ms Jeppered?"
Ms Jeppered rubbed her paws together. "Well no, Calway. Noone else in this area has ever lost them. That is why it is so strange. The rustlers always hit us and noone else."
Calway nodded and thanked her for the time she'd given him. He thought that he would take one more turn around the field before he turned in or left for the night; they had offered him a spare room for the night.
Midway around the field, Calway found more burned spots in the grass. Each of them were perfect little circles. Each of them seemed to have been just left where they were. The cow just stared at him as he made his rounds.
Calway shivered. He didn't like the way that they just looked at him as he headed over to the next little burnt patch. He bent down to look at it, expecting it to be like all of the others. It wasn't though. It was in the shape of a calf... with two tails... and a horn....
Calway blinked, and staggered, falling onto his rump. The shape was PERFECTLY in the shape of the monster that had just been born. It was pearl white, marked on the side by the traditional blackening, but the pearl coloring just shimmered, serving as kind of an illusion of depth, seeming to look like cow markings. Hoof prints led up and away, then were marked be a similar, more complete burn marks, but of a different type than either of the two he'd seen previous.
Calway almost swore, and took out the piece of yarn in his pocket. It had begun to stink, royally stink, and now crawled out of his paw, down his arm, and into the long grasses. Even on his paws and knees, he could not find it--but he could smell it. It smelled like, like... cud.
Calway scrambled to his feet, wiping the paddy off of his pants, and raised his muzzle to the air in attempt to make out which way it went--it was a time he could have used the abilities the Fox-o-Lot ritual had granted, but the paddy on his rear covered any clue he might have. The badger stared at the spot for quite a while, shook his head, and headed back in. "Oh, Reddddd...?"
[That Night]
Calway frowned, awaking to a rooster crowing right outside of his door. He flung the door open to empty air and sat back on his bed, grumbling. It was maddening. With a snarl, he threw the door fully open, and pounded downstairs. Ema looked up, "Hello, there, Mr. Calway--Red's already up, but there's still--" she blinked as Calway brushed her aside and slammed the door.
"Sorry!" she said to a now empty room.
The library was almost closed when he got there. 'Lessee...legends, lore, myth...ufo...diets. What's that doing in here? Jenny Craig? What didn't I check?'
A bit of green popped up from behind a shelf--it was Howard, with a copy of Farmer's Life and Times. In it was another magazine- Howard looked up in startlement, shutting the magazine with an embarrassed bang! before recovering his bluster. Calway had seen what it was, and grinned. Then, looking up into the kid's face, wanting to ask a few questions, Calway sighed, "Ah, I see--so you've been reading a little more than Farmer's novel's, have you?"
Howard blushed deeply, and shook his head. "You won't tell my dad, will you? He'd prolly take a strap to my hide if he found out."
Calway lifted an eyebrow. He had no interest at all in telling Red about Howard's little interests, but in the mood he was, the plaintive nature of the request for mercy grated on his nerves for some reason. *sigh* "Despite what you were up to, I'm inclined to think that you're here for reasons other then recreational." Calway pointed to a couple books Howard had tucked under one arm, and had tried to hide behind his back after the shock of being discovered had filtered out of his system. "Those are strange texts for a farmboy like you to be interested in."
Howard meekly glanced down at the nervous sweat-stained books he had clenched in his fist, and then straightened up the best he could. "What I wanna read is my own business. 'Tis a free country, you know. And I don't care what you tell my dad anyways. You can't prove 'nuttin, and he'll believe me."
Calway, tiring of the way the interrogation was going, reached out fast as lightning and snatched the books from Howard, and held them so he could read the spines of the dusty old volumes. "Look here, kid. I'd understand someone your age hiding out in the library with a Vanity Fur hidden behind his Farmer's Almanac, but exactly why would that kid be interested in books like..." *glancing again at the spines* "Particle and Quantum Physics, Second Edition", and "Occult Theory and Philosophy: 1400AD-Present"? I trust these aren't for a book report?"
Howard glared at Calway, and any appearance of a scared youth melted away, replaced by something... harder. "It's none of your bus'ness, and you'd never understand it anyway. But you'd better not try med'lin with my stuff, or..." Howard tossed the magazines still dangling from the other hand into the wall, and dashed out the door, leaving Calway standing there with a blank look on his face. The reaction wasn't what he'd expected.
Calway had difficulty sleeping. The bed was comfortable, the sheets clean and fresh, but still he tossed and turned.
As he drifted off to sleep, all that scraped through his mind was the look on Howard's face before he dashed out the door.
Sleep soon enveloped him, though after fighting for hours knowing it would soon be the victor, and he found himself dreaming...: He was in a body of water with no bottom and no place to rise for air.
Calway had no reason to panic. He could breathe... he could speak... (after testing the waters), and he appeared to be surviving just fine.
Just when he thought he was alone, a spiny fish floated up to greet him face to face.
Calway shooed it like an obnoxious mosquito, but it remained still, unmoving. After awhile of senseless motion, the fish spoke to him with deep bass tones in its voice. "What is it you're looking for?" said the fish to Calway.
Calway blinked and answered the fish, feeling somewhat ludicrous... "Well... I suppose I'm looking for answers." His logic was the kind found in dreams where the easiest answer is the most profound. The fish looked at him and laughed.
"You know what your problem is?" said the fish. Calway remained silent.
"Your problem is you're thinking too much. You're thinking of the boy..."
Calway had a moment of disarray... his thoughts bouncing between dream and reality.
Calway reached towards the fish, who didn't move but yet seemed further away the closer his hand got. A broad smile grew on the fish's face, the kind of smile that almost always meant trouble. Calway had seen this smile before, whether in dreams or in reality. He pulled his arms away from the fish, but phantom hands held it them place.
The fish'es spiny back bent and deformed... a green streak passing down it's back toward it's growing tail. Calway had difficulty differentiating reality and dream, seeing the water one moment, and his bedroom the next, until finally the fish in his dreams, and a voice in his room spoke simultaneously, balancing him between the worlds of subconcious and the authentic.
"You shouldn't have touched my books." the voice said. Calway awoke to find Howard standing over his sleeping body, holding his arms at his sides, grinning the fishes grin. With a swift blow, Howards head met Calways, and he found himself in the water again, only this time it wasn't a dream. It was the feeling that preceeded his falling back into unconciousness, but before he drifted completely out of the world, he felt Howard drag him by the feet off of the bed, and towards the window. He saw bright light, then only darkness.
There was something right behind his eyes that he seemed to think should grow very large and very fast over and over again. Calway had almost fully let out a groan before one part of his mind stopped him from doing so, the part that knows what is best for people, mostly when best to stay nice and quiet. You either listened to that part of your mind or you ended up very much dead if you didn't.
He opened one eye, remembering the night before. It was still night and before him was a rusty old pickup truck with Howard standing next to it talking with someone in the truck. Whispers of that talk came to him as he listened. '..do with.... ... find out ..... to close to .... can't let him...'
Calway twitched one paw and was able to reach into his vest pocket with it. He got hold of his '45' and wrapped his fingers around the cold steel. It was old but it was his. Then he let out a 'stage groan' and sat up a little too quickly.
Howard twisted around where he was and started to walk over to Calway, his eyes very hard and burning with something like... hate...
Calway pulled out his pistol. "I wouldn't try anything if I were you, Howard. You won't catch me by surprise this time!"
The young punk stopped right where he was and just stared at Calway with those burning eyes, staring at him as the truck behind him opened and his friend came over to his side. Calway moved the gun to cover him as well, then caught his breath. The eyes of the friend glowed like bright red sparks. The body was black as night and hard to see. Calway almost turned to run but held his ground. "You again."
One of the cows walked up to Calway and stopped. Spitting its cud, it then stared at the demon. "You better get out of here, badger. This is nothing that mortals can take on."
Calway glanced over at the cow giving him advice, and the absurdness of it embolded him enough to look the... thing... into the firey pits it used for eyes, and *chuckle*, trying to sound unconcerned by the situation entirely. "I must give you credit this time. Talking cows are far more whimsical then your last bit of work. Good to see you're developing a sense of humor in your old age. It is a little low screwing up a nice farm boy like Howard, there. I thought I taught you a lesson about that."
The dark creature stood there, unmoved, and then, seemingly at the drop of a hat, began laughing. A deep, unearthly laugh, tinged with a sort of clinging, nearly liquid evil dripped from it. "Oh, yes, Calway. You did teach me a lesson, indeed. One I learned quite well, and have thus grown and profited by. The boy here is of no consequence to me... things have progressed to the point where his services are no longer needed." With that, the amorphrous black shadow waved a 'limb' nochalantly in Howard's direction. The driven, insane posture fell away from him, and was instantly replaced by a look of abject confusion and terror.
Howard looked about, babbling something about finding something hiding in the barn, and then screamed, fainting to the ground. The cow looked placidly down at the twisted shape lying there, and continued to chew its cud, ruminenting up a fresh bit from its stomach.
Calway glanced down, and seeing nothing could be done there, continued to try to keep his cool. "You're awfully hard on your playthings..." he said to the loathesome presence. "I suppose I'll have to teach you again how to play nice. I guess some people just never learn except the hard way."
More polluted chuckling eminated from the creature, suddenly tapering off into an angry, dismissive hiss. "Ha, foolish badger! You apparently fail to understand even the tiniest bit of what is involved here. If you think you can kill me again, and drive me from this earth for even a moment, you are sadly, sadly mistaken. These cows are just the merest prototypes of the grand scope of my designs upon your puny world. Each of them, one after the other, has served to refine my understanding of the physical limitations you pathetic creatures live and die within, and given me the knowledge to trancend them. From them, by manipulating their very atoms, I have learned to reform myself. I am now the acme of all creation... kill me if you darest try. Or, let me do it myself."
The black shape lashed forward, seemingly in a single instant, and lifted Calway into the air by the front of his shirt with a fluid, plastic limb, which bent smoothly across it's entire length. The other reached up and twisted the '45' that Calway still held, nearly forgotten in his hand, away. With that, he tossed Calway to the ground, and then stood over his prone body. The beast smiled widely, fire visible within the maw. It then put the gun to its own head, and fired. A dull thud rang out, and then, from in front of the gun's barrel, and flattened lead slug, still storchingly hot, rolled to the ground.
Calway watched the hot slug tumble to the ground and then looked back up at the creature. Now he was a bit afraid. He laughed long and hard, seeming to enjoy his fear in some strange way. "You see, badger, you can't kill me with this thing." He tossed the gun aside and flexed his claws. "Now it is time to die."
The creature leaped right at Calway, only to be stoped in midair and be thrown backwards as a blast from behind Calway rang out. Red was next to him in only a moment. "I... I heard the shot!! What is *that*?"
Calway went for his gun and plopped out the lead bullets and slammed in his 'cop killer bullets' quickly. The creature was already on its feet and charging them. He let lose with all of the bullets he had. It only slowed the demon down for a moment, which hit Calway, ripping at his clothes over his chest, viscious claws dripping with poison.
He never thought that it would be like this, to get killed laying on a large cow patty, but it looked that way. Out of the corner of Calway's eye he saw Howard sit up and point at the demon.
A moment later, two large bovine hooves flew over Calway and the demon was off his chest.
------------------
Ema poored more warm tea into Calway's cup. "You are going to need a new shirt though. That was is a total mess." Calway was not really paying attention, though. He was looking at Howard.
"How did you do that Howard? ...get the cows to help us?" Calway finally asked the punk kid.
The kid shrugged. "Go and ask them. They hate being 'able' to talk. So when they saw you go down they thought that it was time to help. That is all."
Calway could still see what happened in his mind's eye... the demon getting kicked around the field... from hoof to hoof to hoof. His screams stopped sometime around dawn. Red nor he could find anything that would hint as to what happened to it..
"Thanks anyway, kid. You're not such a bad kid after all."