Fred hit the bell by the side of the counter. "Ok John, it is your turn this time around. This one is for 696 Boardville Road." Fred dropped the box onto the counter and wandered away again.
John went over to the counter and picked up the pizza. "Sure thing fred. I will try and have it there in time." He rushed out the door with the box and opened the back of his little run down Honda, flopping the pezza into the warmer as he steped around to the drivers door. Very carefully he kissed the side of the door. "Now keep me safe Chip. We go out once more into the world of insane drivers."
He got into the car and brushed back his to flopping rabbit ears as he looked behind him to back up. Hanging from the mirror were all kinds of wards and good luck charms. A silver bullet. Some Garlic. It didn't take long to get toe Boardville Road and he was about the drive into the place when he saw that the 9 had lost its nail at the top so it was hanging upside down.
John looked at the number for a full minute. "Why can't people fix things like that! Geez." He went down the driveway between to sets of tall old oak trees.
The driveway was one of the longest that John had seen. Just when he was about halfway down it's twisting curves, a black cat ran across the drive. John stomped on his brakes and fishtailed a bit before his Honda came to a stop. He sat there for a few minutes breathing heavily.
John held his hands up to his head and moaned "Oh dear... how will I ever get this pizza up to the house now? If I go on, I am sure to have nothing but bad luck the rest of the night."
John thought about the situation for a bit. The car had come to a stop straddling the path of the black cat, askew in the driveway. "Hmmm... Maybe..." John slid into the passenger seat, opened the door wide, and then, grabbing the pizza, leaped out of the car, well clear of the cursed line. "Then, I just drive back the way I came in, and I never /really/ cross the path... just... go over it. Out on a technicality." John smiled a bit weakly to himself. He wasn't quite sure he believed that, but he had to do something. There in thirty minutes or he's out fourteen bucks. *sigh* He made a mental note to himself to toss some salt over his shoulder next time it was handy, and started hopping up the dark path to the house.
The rabbit shuddered to himself, looking into the dank twisted greenery that lined the driveway, and tried not to hear the rustlings and snufflings that were undeniably eminating from the thicket of overgrown ivy and sumac bushes. "Geeze. These guys ever hear of a nifty invention called a 'lawn mower'?". Something, that didn't sound quite right for an owl, 'hooted' immediately above his head from a dreary dead thicket of branches which formed a nearly impenitrable roof above the way, giving John something a bit too severe to be described as a 'start', and driving the last ounce of jovility from him. "Egads, that's it. These creeps better tip darn well or I'm spitting on the next pizza they order." His pace increased to something just short of a run, the rattling from inside the pizza box indicating that he may be comprimising product quality in favor of expedience at this point.
John hopped along the path with the pizza banging around inside the box as he went up the driveway. It was rediculously long for just a driveway and John wondered how they ever got it past city planning. Finaly after a whole minute of hopping he made it to the house at the end where he stopped to look at it. "Why me?"
The home was one of those old style victorian ones with rooms poking up like castle spires. He sighed and went to the door and hit to button for bell. There was a deep gong inside as about fifty rats ran out from under the porch. John hopped up onto the rail and looked down. "Oh gads. Thats sick."
"May Iiiii Helllp you...." The door behind John had opened without a sound and the deep voice came from the, John took another look, man?
"Hello. I am from Pizza to Go. I have your Pizza here. That will be $14.95.
John grinned up at the 'man' and tried to perk his flopped ears. They just stared at him for a long time before a yound otter looked from between his legs. "Oh... the Pizza is here! I will get the money in a moment and all if you just like wait right there for a little as it will only take me a moment and all you understand?" The otter talked so fast that John had a hard time keeping up with him.
"Sure thing kid. Then I will just be going and all."
"Ok, ok, ok, ok, be back real real soon like I said real soon!"
John stood there holding the box and tapped his long foot while he waited for the young otter. He tried not to look up at the 'man', but his eyes were drawn to him. Once he caught himself staring and blushed beneath his fur, then shifted the pizza box around carefully.
Soon the young otter came barging back to the door and bumped into the 'man' in his haste. "Oh sorry... Well, here is the money. Mmmm... I can't wait to sink my teeth into that pizza... it's been ages!"
John grinned at the otter and took the money "Thanks! I hope you enjoy it. But, I've got to get back on the road..." John turned and hopped away from the mansion as quickly as he could. As he entered the dark driveway, he heard another spooky hooting noise and hopped faster, bounding nearly six feet each time. Just as he was within sight of his car there was a flurry of massive wings over John's head and the next thing he knew, he was sprawled on the ground. He scrambled up and dashed for his car, leaping over the cat's path and diving for the door. The wings beat around his head and he shrieked loudly...
Huge black claws gripped Johns shoulders and he tried to get into his car and lifted him bodly into the air and right through the trees. He yelled wildly. "Hey let me go your overgrown twitybird!"
Two very large owl looking eyes bent down to stare right at him. "Shut the flick up you overgrown furball."
John shut up real fast and lookded down. Then he looked up. Looking down was a mistake. In no time they were at the house again. He looked down and the bird let him go and he screamed as he fell. Right into the chimny opening on top of the house. He went down it like a rabbit hole and landed at the bottom in a could of soot.
A small face poked into his with pizza bits all over its whiskers. "Oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh, your back you are back I see you are back now! Did you come to play with me you know? I like it when people come to play it like hardly every happens you know as I guess that they don't like me or something like that but I really like you you know."
John put a finger in his ear to clean it out. "Think you can talk a little slower sir?"
The young otter smiled and bobbed his head "You don't have to call me, Sir... no sireee... I have a name. You can call me Bitty. It's short for Elizabeth... but that's too long and too hard to say. Takes waaayyy too much time."
Bitty smiled happily and sat back down on her haunches to look at her unexpected guest. She tried very hard to speak a bit slower this time "Tell... me.. What is... your... name?"
The rabbit wiggled his feet to make sure they were alright and laughed, "You don't have to talk quiet that slow Bitty. My name is John and I really can't visit right now... my boss is expecting me back to work soon. Is there somewhere I can clean up?"
Bitty looked confused and her lower lip poked out a bit in a pout, "You mean that you aren't going to stay and visit me either?" She sniffed and brushed back a little tear. "No one ever does... there is a washroom down the hall. Second door on the right... you can get cleaned up there. How did you wind up in my chimney anyway?"
John sat down for a minute and smiles at the otter, "Well, a great owl swooped me up just as I was getting to my car and carried me here. He dropped me down your chimney. I'm sorry I can't stay bitty... maybe I can come to visit another time?
The young otter's face brightened considerably at that and she wiped some of the pizza crumbs and tears away from her face, "Oh really? That would be so nice! I would love to have you come. And don't you worry... I'll talk to that owl. He was just trying to help me... and I guess he did."
John looked at the young otter and blinked. "Where are your parents Bitty? I have not seen them around."
Bitty turned from John nad tried to hide her tears. "They died when I was really really small. Gone now they are like all gone and now I just live with tics, mics, and flicks.
John mouth worked like a fish out of water for a moment. He looked around the old home. It was full of dust and old books. "Would you like to go with me back to the store? You can hang out with me I think."
Bitty clapped her paws and yelled. "Tics! Tics! Quick like we are going to be going out with John!"
The 'man' came out of another room. "As you wish. I will pack the lunch for you...."
John watched him go and shoke his head. "Ok...."
John turns to the otter "If that is tics... who is mics and flicks?"
Bitty smiled "Well, flicks you have already met... he is my friend the owl. He guards the house and grounds from outside intruders and keeps me safe."
John humphed at that "Well, I didn't feel very safe when he was flying so high up... or when he dropped me down the chimney either. I bumped my not so funny bone on the way down. Well, let me get cleaned up and I'll be right with you." With that John wandered off to find the washroom.
Bitty bounced around the hallway as she waited for John's return. She was so happy to have a friend at last. She hugged herself and ran to the other door to see what was keeping tics. "Tics!! Tics, where are you? What's taking so long? Hurry up you ol' two-headed turtle... John will be done and ready to go."
Tics poked his head out of the pantry door "Now just you wait Miss Bitty... he ain't going to be leaving you like that. Seems like a right nice sort of rabbit. It's a wonder Flicks didn't make a meal out of him instead of bringing him to you."
Tics ducked back into the pantry and soon came out with a wicker basket covered with a checkered cloth "Here you be, Miss Bitty... there's lots of fish and I put in some carrot cake for that rabbit friend of yours too."
Bitty took the basket as John joined her and Tics. "Thank you... did you hear that, John?"
John smiled and nodded "Yes, but we had better get going or my boss will have my hide. Ready?"
John opened the door for Bitty and she stepped into the parlor. Fred looked out from the kitchen. "Hurry up! Both of you! The lunch crowd will be here and I haven,'t gotten the salad bar ready."
Bitty took her basket and set it behind the counter in a vestibule for later and slipped on her apron.
Fred set pizza sauce on the preparation array. "Bitty, stock the Salad Bar and get it ready."
"Hey! That's my job," John protested.
"Not anymore. Bitty doesn't eat all the carrot sticks and leave me with angry customers." Fred tosseda cap to John. "You can do what I hired you for . . . deliver pizzas!"
"This is really nice, Fred. Thanks for letting me try this out." Bitty carried the greens and olives and radishes to the counter. "I really wanted a job so Tics doesn't have to worry so much."
"Aaahh . . ." Fred snorted and finished making the day's first pizza. "You keep John on the go and focused like he seems to be and we'll call it even."
John walked by and sneaked a carrot stick behind Fred's back, popped it into his mouth and bounced out to make sure the delivery vehicle was ready to go.
Bitty hummed and finished her task. Everything looked perfect, neat and well arranged.
The door opened and an older Badger came in. She adjusted the glasses on her muzzle and held the door open. An assortment of children from many species boiled into the parlor, ran every which way and vanished into the games area.
The badger made her way to the from counter. "We're here, Fred. All my third grade scholars, ready for pizza and salad."
"Got one in the over now, Miss Whitetail and two more about ready to pop in." said Fred with a smile that spread from ear to ear. "How many more?"
"At least six, Fred. They're very hungry today." Miss Whitetail went to a table and seated herself.
Bitty watched, stunned as little bodies rampaged through the parlor, grabbed bowls and proceeded to make her spectacularly arranged salad bowl into a multi-colored heap.
John strolled behind the counter and grinned. "Horrid little creatures, aren't they? No manners. . . ."
Bitty managed to close her mouth. "M=my salad bar. . . ."
"Or, what's left of it. Happens every Wednesday." John's ears perked and he ran to the phone to take an order.
Bitty hurried around the counter and began the cleanup. One little male ran by and splashed ketchup into the air. Bitty drew back, her nose splattered bright red. "Grrrrrrrrr. . . ." She wiped it off and aggressively cleaned up the mess.
Fred struck the little bell on the counter. "Pizza's up! Bitty, serve it to them."
Bitty went to the counter, picked up the pizza and slapped it onto the nearest table surrounded by children whose eyes devoured it before it was before them. Bitty shrieked. Hands and arms flashed all around her and quickly, she held only an empty pan. Her heart pounded.
John came to her side and helped her back behind the counter, her being still dazed by the ferocity of the attack on the pizza.
"You'll get used to it," said John encouragingly. "Ya gotta know the tricks. Never, NEVER stand too close when serving to this mob. Slide it onto the table and run!"
Bitty nodded and slumped. "Every Wednesday?"
John grinned and nodded.
Bitty turned to the salad bar again and saw its resemblance to a battle field. She quietly reminded herself that she would request Wednesdayis off from now on.
The end?